Murderous Cyborg required for unspecified time travel termination

Cyberdyne Systems (Ulster) Ltd require an unsympathetic killing machine with lethal intent for an undisclosed termination.

The job will require:
-Full knowledge of 1980's slang, music and fashion.
-Extensive human anatomy knowledge, though you will not be required to be 'fully functional'.
-The necessary charisma and skills to acquire transportation and weaponry as needed.
-The ability to adapt to new surroundings, particularly those at the other end of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge.

Sunglasses will be provided.

We especially welcome applications from foreign nationals.

Tayto Crisps Require Contract Killer

Tayto Crisps require a professional contract assassin for annual salary negotiation. Must be able to operate under own initiative to fill this demanding role.

Flexible hours.

Excellent remuneration package + bonus for rapid completion + commission on savings made.

Must have full Occupational Health and Safety certification.

Two references essential, please note that we no longer accept references from Columbia or Papua New Guinea.